The Flying Stereotypes

Notice people on the plane. People reading, sleeping, peering into the on-board tele screen and more. Frequent fliers will empathise with me. I have tried to distill come quirky stereotypes. Sit back, relax and enjoy the ride.

The Phonomaniac
Communication is something the Lord God cursed us with. I think that the original Tower of Babel is actually a cellular phone transmission tower. The Phonomaniac loves his phone. You may think he was born with it. He will talk through the check-in process, through the waiting lounge, through the boarding process. He will not just talk, but his concentration on his phone will mean bumping his bag into people who are on the aisle, as he walks in. He is usually the one the airhostess is running towards, to ask him to switch the phone off, because the plane in taxiing and this fellow’s phone might just end a few people’s lives. You will notice him fiddling with his phone through the fight. He is not happy that his phone is off. He will flip his phone in his hands. Move it from one palm to the other. Caress his phone. In addition, obviously, as the plane in landing, he will be the first to switch it back on. And get a million beeps indicating that he is the most sought after person on the planet

The Worm
One cannot call this person a bookworm. He does not carry a book with him. He is a worm. He loves to read. The inflight magazine, the shopping guide, the airline frequent flier membership form, and everything. Do not be amazed if you see him reading safety instructions and even the instructions on the paper bag for waste. He will also read the branding on the lunch pack. He will read the newspaper given, the newspaper you have, if they are different and might want your magazine, if he is done with it all. The worm has to read.

The Livin’ on the edge
Causes may vary. The symptom is the same. This person is like oil on water in the plane. He wants to jump out. Maybe he hates flying. Maybe his astrologer told him that he would die in a plane crash. Maybe he is going to meet his estranged wife to broker his alimony. He is on the edge. He will jump off the plane. A little jerk or a little turbulence is like getting stuck in an avalanche for these guys. He has to rush in. He has to rush out. He has to rush to the toilet. He will even race the person on the parallel aisle to it. He might bite his nails too. Stay away from him, because airplane nervousness can be contagious

The Gobble-Guzzler
When they said ‘Eat, Drink and Make merry’, the Gobble-guzzler took the first two as direct orders. He will eat & drink anything in sight. No shame in this, is there? From the fistful of mints from the beginning of the flight, to finishing every morsel of food from the lunch or dinner served. His plate will be licked-clean. He will ask for refills of anything that he is drinking. God save the airhostess, if he is an alcoholic. His favourite weapon is the buzzer. He loves the fact that the airhostess is at his disposal and he can exert his power with the push of a button. He will beep until the airhostess decides to make him the airplane’s wallpaper. The entire row is ostracised. Even if the person next to him is having a seizure and presses the buzzer, there will be no help coming his way.

The Elbow Guerilla
This is by far my favourite stereotype. He is the reincarnation of the Vietnamese guerilla. However, this time inside a plane. He will fight for his rights. He will fight for his inch of space. I do not think that the airplane builders have a choice but to have four elbow rests for three people, in the place of six. Arithmetically, you can have space for 1.33 elbows each and not 2. This is not the case for the elbow guerilla. He wants two. He thinks it is his birthright to have both arm rests to himself. He will do anything to get this. His first tactic is Slow Inching. He will slowly push your elbow away from the armrest slowly. He will do this with a surgeon’s precision. Millimeter by millimeter. By the time he is done, you would not even realize that you have lost ground. The second tactic is the Camouflaged Shove. Your elbow will be showed away very tactfully. You might think you got elbowed because your co-passenger was trying to reach for the pen he dropped or the magazine he wants to pick up. But, no. You are fighting a losing battle with the elbow guerilla.


What kind of airplane passenger are you?

You are not George Lucas

Spiderman 3. Looked forward to it after spiderman 1 & 2. Villain 1 and hero were friends, they love the same woman. Villian 1 wants revenge. Hero becomes villian 2 himself. Villain 3 arrives unanounced. And leaves adbruptly. Heroine is crying, getting kidnapped, getting rescued. Villain 2.5 is a new guy who morphs like hero turned villain 2. Did you follow what i said above? Neither did I.
The directors and the script writers losing the plot somewhere. I call it the curse of the sequels.

It happened to Matrix 2 & 3. Remember Ring 2? Rememer Batman & Robin? Speed 2? Miss Congeniality 2? The list is endless.

Why do they make sequels? To take the story forward? To give the audience more of what they loved? Or just to make more money? Make the best of the brand they created?

Not everyone is George Lucas. Not evey trilogy can beat The Godfather series.
Please stop

O'Childhood!

Remember the days o’childhood!
Toy soldiers. Tree tops. Tops
Play. Hide. Seek
Run. Fall. Run again

Remember the days o’nnocence!
Shy. Cry. French Fry
School bus. Life was no big fuss.
Rhymes. Poems. Misplelling.

Remember the days. Worry free!
Live for the moment
Life for the hour.
Know no meaning of time.

Remember the days o’childhood!
How you would long to be back there.

Movie for the new generation

I watched Lage Raho Munna Bhai last night. After six weeks of the movie hitting movie halls, I finally landed up. I seldom watch Hindi flicks. Most of my hate for them has been fuelled by lack of originality, lack of interesting plots, low on entertainment value. But off late the movies have become more original. Or maybe I have become more tolerant.

I sat there and enjoyed the movie as much as rest of the audience. The movie kept everyone laughing. But when we walked out. There was a moral of the story that everyone took home. For me it was not just a movie with some morals that was doing well. It was also doing well on a couple of more counts.

1. Gandhian Values: till a couple of decades ago, anything movie with gandhain values were always about the freedom struggle. The non-violent fight that brought us independance. Gandhian values were a means to an end. The end of British rule. And that was for the post independence era. To a generation that saw the British in India. To a generation where the expultion of the raj was victory. Then came the new generation. A generation which knows not much about oppression and the troublesome grotesque past. This generation needed new values. New cultural moorings to look back. And the movie just does that.
2. Modernisation of Gandhi: Gandhi is not some figure on a rupee note or the 4th chapter in the history text book. He was a man who lived. The director found an actor who could play the character well, but also gave him some quirky dialogues and added coolness to him. Including calling the Gandhi way of life, Gandhigiri.

Just looking around, I see quite a parallel in Rang De Basanti. The movie made for the youth of today. The movie that talks to the same generation. The movie that spoke about the past, including the the struggle of Bhagat Singh & Co. But used it in a contemporary context. Fantastic use of the past, making it palatable, making it less sobby and delivering strong emotional connects through humour and a well written script.

I am sure this formula works, and I am sure there are many more to come. Cheers to the new bollywood.

When Superman Strips...

I have been a Superman fan forever. I read an article in the newspaper a few days ago. A gay magazine, The Advocate runs a story on whether Superman is Gay! He is flying around with his red leotard, total spandex and runs away from women. It stumped me.


This thought never crossed my head. Will this change the way I look the super dude? Maybe not.

But I guess the question here is if he is really gay. Well, we will never know. Did his creators create him gay? Jerry Siegel and Joe Shultz are dead. The only way to know would be is to ask Superman. But there is no Supey, isnt it?

Anyways, as a marketing person, my hunch is that this could be just the most innovative marketing tactic ever. But what it will surely do is create enough hype about the movie. There is enough PR being generated. You might call it bad press. But what the heck, top of mind has been achieved. Millions will throng to check how Brandon Routh behaves. Is he effeminate enough to flame their fantasies? How much of a crotch show is it etc.

Whatever it takes, dont miss the movie. Maybe you will have an answer for yourself.

Sorry Che! mRebels have outdone you.

We all know that rebels are people with a different point of view. They resist. They refuse alligance to authority. Rebelliousness is very unwelcome in any society. It stirs the honeycomb. It brings unstable equilibrium. Develops restlessness.

Rebellions have had positive and negative outcomes in history. Victorious rebels then become mainstream. New rebels are born. The cycle continues. Rebels with lost causes become unsung heroes, and vanish with time.

Welcome to the new kind of rebel. mRebel-The moderate rebel. Well, welcome to the corporate world. Where rebelling is a style statement. It is a management style. It is the wanting to say something different in a meeting. It pushes people to come up with points of view that are contrarian to the mainstream thought. But not so earth shatteringly contrarian that it will change the game.
Sometimes counterproductive. Sometimes wastes some time. But most of the time, it keeps everyone happy. The mRebel shoots out his point of view. It doesnt hurt too many people. The boss is happy because his POV still rules. The mRebel is happy because he sounded like the devil's advocate. Sometimes kills a good idea.

mRebels thrive in these days of Playsafe-Corporate-Culture. Watchout for that mRebel in your next meeting or presentation. He is there waiting to waste your time. I think Moderate Rebelliousness thrives and may possibly will forever.

Branson, The Virgin

There is a difference between living life and living life. Just started reading his autobiography and am very thrilled.
I haven't seen too many people who love to live. And to live to the fullest, all content, making the best of every moment, everyday, every minute. The energy, the enthusiasm, the power, it is very contagious.

Branson is a superbrand unto himself. An inspiration. It is not a life of a flamboyant playboy. He is not that shallow. There is a deep sense of freedom, achievement and guts to beat status quo.

If the book is a thriller, I can imagine how it is to lead such a life. Will add more to this post, when I finish the book.

Over n out!

Is this Life?

I thought I was late.
The body of a young boy.
I had met him once before.
Cruel accident.

She stood there.
She is the sister. Elder.
Old friends watching her.
Eyes swollen. A brave face.

They sat there grieving
Friends, family
Finding it difficult to swallow

The thought. The goose bumps.
The flashes. People near and dear.
Anyone can go. Anytime

Will move on.
She. Us. They. Everyone.
Life ends. Life continues.

Why? Why?
No one has an answer.
No one will ever have.

May young Farhad Wadia’s soul rest in peace